They call it MAGIC?

BULL$@*%!

I AM NOT HAPPY...

I'll start off by saying that, and this page is being published because a second rate HACK of an "illusionist" refused to pay me the entire amount due when I did a show with him in October of 97.... The only way for this page to be removed is for that jerkoff to pay me the rest of what he owes me, or I'll sue him to collect the rest of my pay, and have this page and all it's secrets about the so called illusions he does entered into the public record... This, of course, will totally screw all the 'good' illusionists out there, so...

PAY UP, PAL

So anyway...... you want to know how they do the illusions?

Sleight of hand is a talent that takes a long time to develop...the other part of the trick is to make you look somewhere else so that you can't see what they are doing with the other hand...........

This is a rundown on parts of the Jerkoff's show.......

PAY ME WHAT YOU OWE ME, PAL

He starts off with little tricks they all do, so I wont ruin that for you..... One 'illusion' he does is he has a cigar pop up in his hand....well, notice how before the cigar appears, he bends over, wiggling his left hand....he reaches up with his right hand, and pops the hat off his head, which rolls down his arm into  his left hand..... fancy.... While he's tapping his hat to get it going, he reaches behind his neck and pulls out the cigar which is conveniently hidden there by a scarf he plays with...... Ok... so he lights is with a match he pulls out of his pocket... He spends an awful long time rummaging in his pockets, putting flammable fluids on his left hand so that a flame appears in his left palm.... OOH,... I'm impressed....

PAY ME, YOU HACK!!!

The show continues with him letting a girl out of a trunk that appeared to be empty... Of course, there was a suitcase attached to the trunk with a trap door in, where the girl was crouched (for 15 minutes the first show) When he closes the trunk, that's her cue to move fully into the trunk, so Jerkoff can open it and let her out.... Ooh... me so impressed.

Next trick..the disappearing model car

Butt Burgular took a model car and put a 100 dollar bill that was signed by an audience member in it, and made it disappear.... He put the car in a box, set the box on fire, and then tapped the box, which fell apart, totally empty. Of course, from my vantage point, I could see that he did NOT put the car IN the box... It went BEHIND the box, into a trap door on the table.... While he fiddled with it behind the box, he removed the 100 dollar bill, putting it in his pocket.......

YES, JERKFACE...
YOU'RE A HACK

Anyway.... there was a box hanging by the curtain, which had the identical model car in it....while the HACK removed the second model from the box, he took an awful long time to fiddle around in the thing, putting the signed 100 dollar bill in the second car.....

PAY UP, PAL...WE HAD A CONTRACT

The next trick involved splitting a girl in half, in an upright box. How do they do that, you ask? Well, I'm about to tell you.

BREACH OF CONTRACT

YOU DID IT FIRST, DILLWEED

The girl comes onstage, and dances around... she was actually very nice..... her boss was a DICK. She gets stuffed in a box that has a top part that slides across to move her upper body, leaving her lower body in the same place....  The vision doors were closed, and Hackboy pushed her upper body to the side, cutting her in half... Ok..... her whole body slid.... a trap door popped open, hiding her legs as she moved over.... the trap door had a mirror on it, which reflected her legs back to the other side, thus making it look like she was cut in half... the vision doors were opened, she waves her arms (she had absolutely no room to move her legs), the doors were closed, she was put together, and the trick was over.

SORRY, REAL ILLUSIONISTS.

TELL THAT HACK TO PAY ME.

I think that's enough for now... This will be updated as I get more and more PISSED OFF due to not being PAID... Let this serve as a warning to all you illusionists, and musicians, for that matter....

PAY YOUR CREW WHAT YOU OWE THEM....

We DO have more control over you than you think.....

Just ask the now deaf Barrio Boys, who pissed off the sound guys at LatinoFest97

UPDATE...
Oh, who gives a fuck...
He never paid...
but...
he's never gotten anywhere, either...
LOL  
Fuck him.

�The Light King

Home      Gusgus     Lights!  Project Fiat
DNRC     Magic?     Kill the Macarena!
Private     Links
Gemstone